mediocrity.

Sometimes mediocrities unite, and then you fail to find yourself there. and you feel you are away from the crowd. why is it so difficult to mix up at times. Because you don't find people talk on your level. It is not important about the height (metaphorically) of the level. But there are times when you really cant mix up and feel oh God you can't lower yourselves to this level only to be a part of the group, especially when all that's in the group is one person who licking the other person's ass only to get some goodies. It is awful.
And there are times when you need to see these mediocrities around. In fact a lot of times. You cannot expect everyone to be on the same level as you. It is not about where you are/ or at what level at that time. sometimes all you have to do is bear mediocrity..

stand still..

And sometimes you know you are standing there at the shore and you know the tide is going to hit you, there is no escape, it's too big. You need to stand still till it subsides. It depends whether you are strong enough to bear it. sometimes it might just take longer than usual, all you need to do is stand still, stand till u can. It is a testing time ahead. 

the self-less ness - altruism.

I just heard the interview of the Lady- Ravi Paranjape (the famous artist/ illustrator/ writer) 's wife from Pune. She has stood by him actually through the thick and thins of life. Self-less ly. It is so unimaginable to me. Giving all life another person, that in an arranged marriage. That is so so very good. I have a love marriage. I still can make an honest confession, that I cannot give away all from me to my husband, or rather anyone. I will still try to take some me time, some time for my activities - whatever. Although I have seen my mom also doing the same.In spite of the fact that she was a working woman she still was involved in every single that Dad did, She supported him. regardless.
What I will do is if it is viable option to go that way etc etc.What not. I heard the interview for almost 4 times. the lady is so much in love with what her husband does, supports him throughout and she has taken care of her spastic child throughout too...I felt Oh I am so selfish. People have to face so much in life. What we see is the surface that seenms polished. Same is the case with My Principal Patil Sir's wife. She has also given her life to the artist, I think that has actually helped him. I keep saying that Sir, I want a wife too.. like aunty.
But that's being selfish, I need to wish to be like her. self-less. and still take responsibilities of life.
There on I decided, I will Give, all that I can. I suddenly got this inspiration and hence I want to act upon it. I want get back to the altruistic myself where in happiness is immense, much more than today.  

the women-ly feeling.

its high time I am on the other side of the grass and I feel the other- other side is more beautiful. I was just thinking.. Born as a girl (thank God in an educated family to an educated couple(who did not have a problem with having a girl child- as these days people use their education to kill female foetus)) that I survived. Came in, saw the world. As far as I can remember, Mom always reminded me that I am a girl, not in the wrong sense though. That she did not remind me that I belonged to someone else and one day I will get married and only look after the kids and dishes. But instead she reminded me of being a girl to be safe from all the impurities in the world. She taught me how to protect myself (No, I did not join Karate, my younger sister did :) ) I remember she saying a lot of times, that men want to have wives like Shridevi (a star actress then) that she should be beautiful, as well as performing.
Then I was the daughter - not allowed to do so many things in life. I always felt I should have been a boy, so much of freedom to them. Gosh! I had to obey a lot of things, I was more of the girl- girl types. My sister was the tomboy and smarter to face the world. I felt i will be able to behave like I wished to when i will grow up, earn on my own, have my own loving husband.
Aah! then I became the wife - no stopping still - Had a lot more to do - Work, study, look after - oh oh my.. No i could not do things I wished too, In fact i had even more responsibilities. To study - to earn- to manage home- what not.
And now Mom! this is a role I love to play, because of the innocent - no conditions love that i get from my daughter.. A lot more responsibilities.  
But the point is in this how many times have I lived my dream? What comes to my mind is-I guess I am not alone. there are so many Woman achievers I need to learn from. They also must be having all these sets of responsibilities. If not the same, but similar. I think I need to Push myself harder to do what I wish to do in this lifetime, because there would not be another time where I can be. 

the kiddish friendship. :)

yes i think it is important i write this.
There are times when friend-ships are hurt. I have this great friend,. Who I felt understood me very well without saying anything, so did i understood her too. So what if we did not know the knitty gritty details of what happened in each others lives, We were truly in love before (she is a girl friend) .... And then everything went wrong. OH but i need to mention that the whole misunderstanding started because of un-friending activities, which none of us did, on the Facebook.. It just happened and none of us knew how.
She spoke something and and I took it wrongly, and I did something and she took it wrongly. And all that lead to a huge mess.
Oh God, that's bad. We talk about friendships being made, nurtured and kept all way. And I agree she was such a friend, A special for me. Then why on earth did all the misunderstanding happen.
But we sat, spoke to each other telling each other to believe, trust in one another. and got up with no outcome. We were leaving when I suddenly realized, Oh my God, what is happening. we were so dear friends. I remembered and reminded her of the same and Thank God, we hugged and made it up.. We went back to the place we were fighting in and spoke well to each other. Thank you God for giving in the forgive button easily to friends. I am happy that things got solved.
Through all this, it just came to mind, had we been kids, we this would have ended earlier. But since we grew up, one thing led to another and the whole mess stood up.. And to add to the paradox, we then appeared kiddish to the world. When in reality, had we been kids, we would have made up much earlier..